Messy on Purpose

What it actually looks like to align your business with your values

Becoming a business owner didn’t make me more conservative. It made me more radical. In this series, I’ll share the behind-the-scenes truths of building a values-rooted business — from uncomfortable decisions to liberating clarity — and how entrepreneurship can actually shift us away from toxic norms, not deeper into them. Read on to learn more about how I put people over profit.

Before I ever dreamed of owning a business, I was out here getting radicalized the old-fashioned way, by working for organizations that said they wanted change — until change actually started to happen. I spent more than a decade in denominational leadership, holding new, experimental roles that let me build bold new things. (Honestly, the entrepreneur writing was already on the wall. 😜) But as soon as my work started to disrupt the status quo, things got tense. I can’t even count how many times I’ve been told to just be more patient, soften my edges, lead more “authentically” — all code for “don’t make us too uncomfortable … or else.” And as the discomfort grew, as it inevitably does in times of change, people started talking about eliminating my role or not renewing my contract. There wasn’t much gratitude for the innovative work I did. They weren’t always concerned with fair compensation, either.

What You Do Says More Than What You Say

Here’s what I learned from all that: How people treat each other behind closed doors — in emails, side meetings, contract negotiation drama — reveals more about a workplace’s values than any statement on a website ever could.

So when I started my own business, I made a commitment: I would do better. That doesn’t mean it’s clean or easy. Aligning your actions with your values is messy. It takes work. And it’s way more convenient to build emotional walls and treat people like interchangeable parts — the way our culture trains us to do.

But building a values-driven business is part of how I, and many other feminist entrepreneurs, help dismantle what’s toxic in our culture. So I keep checking in. Every decision I make runs through a filter of: Is this in alignment with who I say I am?

My Values in Action (aka: Imperfect But Intentional)

Here’s what I value — and how I try to live those values in real time, even when it’s complicated.

Relationship > Transaction

As I’ve shared throughout this series, feminist business is all about putting people over profit. For me, that means investing time in relationships, even in simple or part-time work arrangements. My tiny-but-mighty team and I clearly discuss expectations — like when I need a project turned around and how much lead time they need from me — because clear communication is part of care.

And when I work with clients? I listen first. I reflect back what I’m hearing. Only then do I offer a way we might work together. If a sale happens, great. If not, we’ve still built trust.

Rest Is Non-Negotiable

Rest isn’t just something I encourage my clients to do — I live it with my team. We talk honestly about capacity. We schedule time off. We extend deadlines when life happens. Sure, it’s annoying when a project gets delayed. But after the break, the people on my awesome team — myself included — always come back refreshed and creative because we honored each other’s humanity.

Care Isn’t Just a Vibe: It’s a Practice

Rest is one way we care for each other, but it’s not the only one. In our coaching community, we build simple rituals of care — like informal check-ins during coworking breaks, and space for conversation off-camera during group sessions. Still, I know we’re just scratching the surface.

So tell me: Should we try 15-minute dance parties? Meditation breaks? Lunch-hour check-ins? Live watch parties of our favorite movies? I’m here for experimenting.

Curiosity > Control

Curiosity sounds easy — until stress hits. Then we all get more rigid, more anxious, more desperate for control. That’s why I work (and coach) with this simple principle: Ask a question before jumping to judgment.

Especially in change work, questions are everything. What are we learning — especially when something flops? How are we feeling during each phase of the process? What needs adjusting? These little check-ins create major shifts.

Authenticity Is a Practice (Not a Performance)

I encourage clients to bring their full, messy selves to coaching — but living that out personally hasn’t always been easy. I used to wait until a tough situation was fully processed before sharing publicly. (That can take years!) That’s not always wrong, but for me, it was often about trying to seem like I had it “together.”

Spoiler: I don’t. None of us do. And letting people see that? That’s where the power is.

Values Are Messy. Live Them Anyway.

There’s no clean, perfect way to live your values. But when I ignore mine, my body lets me know. I feel disconnected, heavy, off. That’s usually my cue to pause, reflect and realign.

Writing this article actually helped me do just that — and inspired me to create a Values Alignment worksheet I can share with potential clients to see if we’re a good fit from the start.

Living your values isn’t easy — but it’s absolutely worth it.